A guy was driving down the road when a State Trooper pulled him over.
When the trooper asked him why he was speeding, he replied "I'm on the way to the hospital, I'm a doctor".

When the trooper asked him what kind of doctor hew was he answered, "I'm a rectal stretcher".
"A rectal stretcher? What exactly is that?", asked the trooper.

"Well", said the driver,"when they have to do surgery that requires them to enter the rectum, they call me in. First I start with one finger, then two and work my way up until I can get both of my hands in there so I can stretch it out enough that they can access the area to work. Fact is, I managed to get one stretched out to six feet the other day."

"Six feet?" asked the officer..."What in the world would they do with a six foot butthole?"

The driver replied," give him a gun & call him a trooper."